Its this metamorphasis transitioning chapters in life. New things bring new attitudes and perspectives. We change a lot over time. In going back into my past today, reading through various things…I realize I’ve lost something along the way. I’m missing the creative passion I once held so dearly and so tightly to myself.

Words, expressions, visions flowed out of me. I could ryhme words in a heartbeat; I had a desire to do and be more than I was. This youthful attempt at becoming, at being in a significant way. Whatever it was that I was going for, or was a byproduct of my life, I had it.

Perhaps it was the trauma from various drama or whether I’ve simply matured and changed into this individual today. I don’t know but sometimes, ever so often, I need to be reminded about who I am, the inner creative that used to devote more of his life to craft. I was in college; I was dealing with things, more than I could ever imagined went through my mind. I overworked, overstudied, over did everything. I was an extremist on a mission to do great things.
I fell off along the way; I took a job after college, moved, changed my life and lost that expressive person a long the way. My focus was on new things, in turn I lost what I held so close, so dearly before.
One of my new years resolutions was to find this inner creative…I need to reinvent the inner creative, in a strong way. I like who I am now and what I’m doing, but I’m not the same person.
So…lets find it…

Things I want to improve on, become more active in, changes I plan to make, foresee and continue on…

• The path back -  I have some people still left to speak with and with Monday off, I need to arrange talks with them then.
• My sister – I’ve done very little in terms of getting back in touch with her and trying to rebuild our relationship since the falling out…I need to get more active in making that a priority
• ContributeDesign – I haven’t touched a non-profit client for quite some time; there’s a call I need to make to one of them and begin work there
• Reading books -  Seriously, I have a ton of books I need to read.
• Prayer time/quiet time – I try to read my Bible everyday, but that doesn’t always work out, prayer the same. I need to just get better at both
• Communication with friends -  There are people, as of late, that I have let fall a bit by the way side. I need to reconnect with some friends, people I used to speak to often. I’ve let myself become absent lately and I’m not a fan of it.
• Art/Writing/Side Projects -  I haven’t worked on art in sometime and there are a few pieces I’d really love to tackle. Writing wise, there are a few drafts that need my attention to finish. I need to finish things I start through. Side projects…its been awhile since i’ve done anything flash related, I need to make something cool and I have a few ideas how to express that.

This is all for now, its part of the constant thinking, always seeking…its all about what I want to become, what I should become and the journey there.

This was written well over a year ago when I was in a different time, a different life. So much to consider, to much to think about…life and dreams

when life and dreams collide,
i wonder which side is mine
do i live life through dreams i pursue,
or does life surface what were the dreams of my youth?

if i live life in dreams
then the life i live is false
but if my dreams are lived through my life
then all is not lost
lost is the life where dreams don’t exist
living morbidly stuck in an abyss
wondering if my dreams manifest in my life
wondering if the steps i take will be right
not a day goes by that i wonder what could be
if given the right opportunity

how to pass from one life to the next,
considering all that is best
perfect timing will reveal everything
but until then how do i know anything?
wondering how things are now and how they will be,
what will i ever see?

right decisions lead to right places to be,
the right place for me, the right place for she
in time, everything will come to my side
when life and dreams collide…

“Cuz when I die…then I die loving you”