Its funny how accepting we are of things.
Lifestyles, choices, mistakes, lovers, friends, decisions…we take everything with anything. I’m finally at the point where things of the past (of all sorts of the past)…fail to bother me. Battles lost, false expectations, high hopes crushed…all the same, I’m good.
I can honestly look back at the road I’ve taken none of it haunts me anymore. I can talk to Katie without any sort of lingering guilt or conviction. I can talk and see Welsch with pure enthusiasm for anything and everything she’s doing with her life now, regardless of who its with or any past feelings.
The ghosts are gone, no more hauntings, no more what if’s or wondering.
Its funny how things are, how I leave my life to pursue what I thought was another, better life…only to end up in something entirely different than either. I’m in a much different place than I was or expected to be. This journey has taken me to places I could have never imagined, good and bad. It’s given me this unique intrinsic perspective that I can only hope to help others with.
I once feared my future because of the actions of my past. The coming resolution in lieu of what I could or should be my own doomed manifest destiny.
Now I find myself at the point where by understanding and seeing my own past it better enables me to understand others. Having once lived a virtually perfect life with all of the values and morals of a righteous man, to have fallen into a self-absorbed, egocentric, individual…I’ve seen both sides of my life. I’ve lived in polar opposites of my own existence.
Now, I’m looking over things, past, present in future…all at once, now I truly see where it is I am, where it is I am going and what it took to get here..and I thank God for pulling me out alive.
